You Can't Choose The Best Zombie Movies If You Don't Know The Rules
by Mickey Jhonny
Deciding upon the best zombie movies presupposes a reliable understanding of what exactly are zombies - or, for that matter, zombie movies. The non-aficionados on the topic might be a little surprised to learn the answer to these questions isn't so self evident. Among the keenest fans of the genre there are in fact a number of areas of dispute. Certainly no attempt is made here to conclude whether or not running zombies qualify; nor what constitutes evidence of having died. Still, even without resolving these kinds of thorny issues, we can conjecture some useful rules to guide us. I mean, a definition that merely said zombies were the undead would invite vampires into the category. And we certainly can't have that. Those vampire kids are so outre. So some kind of rule of thumb will be helpful.
Well, they do say that rules are made to be broken. There's no denying that the rules of cinematic zombies have been regularly broken. Despite this, though, some pretty enduring rules about the nature and origins of zombies have persisted -- despite occasional violation. The upshot is that one has to maintain a little flexibility in discussing this stuff, but, if the limitations are duly acknowledged, there are some useful rule-bounds to be identified.
Our examination of zombie movie rules will be helped by acknowledging the great impact of George Romero. So the rules will be initially broken into the pre and the post Romero zombies. After that some further rules about the narrative mainstays of zombie movies will be considered.
The Pre Romero Zombies
1. The pre-Romero zombies were usually much influenced by the voodoo mythology of Haiti's folk religion. A distinctive feature of this tradition was the notion that some master of the zombies raised them from the dead and as a consequence exercised control over their worldly actions.
2. Already in this early period it was common that zombie ambulation was characterized by slow, unbalanced motion.
3. Zombies were often associated to some kind of social collapse, issuing into an apocalyptic, nihilistic world.
4. Often dovetailing with the above convention, zombiism was frequently depicted as a plague-like occurrence.
Romero/post-Romero Zombies
5. Under the influence of Romero's vision, zombies were no longer depicted as under the control of a master-mind. Instead they become more like a force of nature - in fact something of a natural disaster. Indeed, it has become a familiar trope in zombie movies that the zombies are the product of some "unnatural" human intervention into the world -- radiation, pharmacology, etc..
6. These new zombies had an apparently insatiable hunger for human flesh.
7. Romero completely re-imagined the zombie attack as a bloody gore fest, almost lovingly depicted in graphic cinematic detail.
8. And possibly the most enduring of Romero's revision of the zombie mythology was the idea that they could only be "killed" by a skull crashing blow of some sort that damaged their brain.
9 It was mentioned above that the plague aspect of zombiism predates Romero, but he gave it another of its distinctive features with the idea that the plague was spread through zombie bites.
Stock ingredients for a zombie movie
10. Almost invariably all zombie movies require some pathetic bummer character who whom, as a consequence of stupidity, selfishness, cowardice or general all purpose inhumanity, brings the previously withheld zombie horde down upon the poor straggling survivors. This person's characteristically anti-social behavior serves the symbolic function of being the weak link in the fortifications that had previously protected a small safe space.
11. Straggling survivors, of course, are also required. As the genre develops more and more these straggler groups are depicted in a manner suited to please the most vigilant diversity commissar: with an improbable mix of ethnicity, gender and age. Presumably this is all intended as a microcosm of the human condition, with its the hope and futility, dignity and venality thoroughly on display.
12. The "what's happening" factor. Always in the beginning, no one seems to be able to figure it out. Despite the rather large number of zombie movies, it always appears as though zombie movies take place in a world where no one has even seen one. And certainly no public official ever has. They just can't figure it out!
13. Zombie movies in fact are not about the danger of zombies, but about the danger of humans.
14. Usually there has to be some sad sack who just doesn't get it, not able to let go of an emotional attachment to one of the zombies. Somehow, with all the crazy flesh eating and so forth, they can't quite get with the idea that the former loved one has become a cannibalistic ambulating corpse. This rarely goes well for the sad sack.
15. And we need the hero, or as close to one as we get. This will be the peace maker and noble leader by example, sacrificing everything to pull straggling survivors together. It is their only hope, after all. Yet, invariably such efforts are thanked by a reliably obnoxious jerk accusingly commenting "who made you the boss?"
16. And let us not forget the attractions of the love-interest. Among the ragtag of humanity there will be reliably at least one hottie of each gender. No doubt part of the attraction of zombie movies for many fanboys is the projected excitement that finally now some hot babe will have to have sex with me. I mean, the future of humanity depends upon it. As observed, though, the hotties are usually represented in both genders. So, just like high school, there's still some alpha type messing up your plans. But, hey, at least there's some faint hope, right? What's the point of a zombie apocalypse if it's not going to give you some hope to make out with a babe who wouldn't give you the time of day in study hall?
So, there you have it: the rules for identifying zombies and their movies. Next time, then, the question is posed, what are the <a href="http://tinyurl.com/mdnhmyz">best zombie movies</a> , you'll be ready to rock and roll.
Now that you know what makes the grade as a zombie movie, check out Mickey Jhonny's provocative <a href="http://tinyurl.com/ptma2vt">top five list of the all time best zombie movies</a> . Over at the Walking Dead celebration blog, Pretty Much Dead Already, his article on <a href="http://tinyurl.com/lefbu4l">the Walking Dead fanfiction</a> is a must read for every fan of the zombie genre.
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New Unique Article!
Title: You Can't Choose The Best Zombie Movies If You Don't Know The Rules
Author: Mickey Jhonny
Email: honestoffers4u@gmail.com
Keywords: best zombie movies,zombies,George Romero,cult movies,cult classics,movie reviews,cultural criticism,hobbies,leisure,entertainment
Word Count: 1010
Category: Movies
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